emotional rock, alternative rock, deep, emotiona

Intro
Momma I am writing this because the silence in my chest has grown too heavy, and I need to put the weight of you somewhere outside of myself. For years, I watched you fight a war that was invisible to everyone else but entirely consuming to you. I saw the shadow that chased you, the one you tried so desperately to outrun, to soften, to put to sleep with a chemical peace that eventually took you away from me forever.
Chrous
When you overdosed, a part of me went into the ground with you. For a long time, my grief was tangled up in a furious, blinding anger. I was angry at the dealers, and the disease. I was angry at you for leaving, and then I was paralyzed by the guilt of that anger. How could I be mad at someone who was hurting so badly? I used to think that if I had just loved you a little bit louder, or stayed up a little bit later to watch over you, I could have rewritten the ending to your story.
Verse 1
It's fucking crazy because clarity of time has burned away the fog. I see now that your addiction was a monster too massive for a daughter’s hands to hold back. It was not a choice you made against me; it was a sickness that swallowed you whole. You did not want to leave me. You just wanted the hurting to stop, and the tragedy of your life is that the only medicine you could find was the very thing that stole your breath.
I want you to know that I am choosing to remember you outside of your disease. I am pulling your memory out of the dark rooms and the hushed hospital corners. I am remembering the sound of your real laugh, the warmth of your hands before they started to shake, and the way you looked at me when the monster wasn't looking at you.
Chrous
When you overdosed, a part of me went into the ground with you. For a long time, my grief was tangled up in a furious, blinding anger. I was angry at the dealers, and the disease. I was angry at you for leaving, and then I was paralyzed by the guilt of that anger. How could I be mad at someone who was hurting so badly? I used to think that if I had just loved you a little bit louder, or stayed up a little bit later to watch over you, I could have rewritten the ending to your story.

Verse 2
You were a whole person before you became a casualty. You were soft, you were vibrant, and you were my mother. So its fucking sick and messed up that here I fucking sit still lost and no
I am learning how to live in the space you left behind. It is hard, and some days the ache feels like a physical bruise beneath my ribs, but I am surviving. I am carrying your best pieces forward with me—your empathy, your resilience, your capacity to love deeply ,but you leaving me behind fucking blows makes me wanna die slow but I forgive you, Mom. I forgive you for the promises you couldn't keep, and I forgive myself for not being able to save you. I hope that wherever you are now, the noise has finally stopped. I hope the air is easy to breathe, and I hope you finally feel the profound, unconditional peace that you searched for so desperately here on earth.
Bridge
You tried to drown the quiet things
that screamed inside your head,
and built a kingdom out of dust
upon a restless bed.
I watched you chase an artificial calm,
a synthetic, heavy grace,
until the poison wore your clothes
and took your gentle face.
It wasn't that you left me, Mom,
it’s that you went astray,
hunting for a hiding place
where ghosts could fade away.
The heavy burdens that you held
to silence all the noise,
became the theft of every dream,
the thief of all our joys.
I used to think my open arms
could be your saving shore,
but waves of shadows pulled you down
and dragged you from the door.
An overdose is not a choice,
it is a sudden thief,
that leaves a daughter standing still
inside a frozen grief.
Chrous
When you overdosed, a part of me went into the ground with you. For a long time, my grief was tangled up in a furious, blinding anger. I was angry at the dealers, and the disease. I was angry at you for leaving, and then I was paralyzed by the guilt of that anger. How could I be mad at someone who was hurting so badly? I used to think that if I had just loved you a little bit louder, or stayed up a little bit later to watch over you, I could have rewritten the ending to your story.
Outro
Fuck im still washing off the ash,
and holding to the light,
remembering the woman who
existed before night.
I hold you in the morning air,
I find you in the sun,
the battle that you fought is through,
the agonizing run.
Rest easy now, the ache is gone,
the chemicals are still.
I love you past the tragedy,
and always, always will. I fucking miss the shit out of you mom