trap rap, rock, Sad, emotional, dark and intense

(chorus)
This year I met the saddest version of myself… and it broke me in ways I never saw coming.I lost my spark. I lost the light in my eyes. I lost the version of me who used to smile without forcing it.
(Intro)
Everything I thought I had under control slipped right through my fingers, and some days I couldn’t even recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror.
(chorus)
This year I met the saddest version of myself… and it broke me in ways I never saw coming.I lost my spark. I lost the light in my eyes. I lost the version of me who used to smile without forcing it.
(Verse 1)
Damn I wish everything around me would just begin to slowly fade away I'm tired of this life anyways It's crazy seems like I exsist for other people to take their hurt and pain out on so they can get somewhere in life yet I'm left feeling empty & Exhausted jokes on me I'll never be free just Trapped on a merry-go-round being tortured & held hostage
(chorus)
This year I met the saddest version of myself… and it broke me in ways I never saw coming.I lost my spark. I lost the light in my eyes. I lost the version of me who used to smile without forcing it.
(Verse 2 )
Shits fucking sickening cause baby beat believe I lost that good innocent girl I used to be years ago and hunny the funny thing is I'm Miles away from the happy soul I used to be FUCKVWHY CANT SOMEBODY JUST LOVE ME FOR ME BUT NOPE STILL THROWN TO THE SHIT LIKE DEBRIS craziest shit being me hell Ill probably never learn...how many more times fo I gotta get hurt n left behind before I change this obliterated & fucked up state of mind
(chorus)
This year I met the saddest version of myself… and it broke me in ways I never saw coming.I lost my spark. I lost the light in my eyes. I lost the version of me who used to smile without forcing it.
(Hook)
THE VOICES IN MY HEAD ARE SCREAMING AT ME NOW
CALLING ME A KLOWN & LAUGHING EVERYTIME INE OF THESE FAKE MORHER FUCKERS KNOCK MY ASS TO THE GROUND!!!! They keep yelling at me saying "heather why the fuck to you stick around these people don't care If heather just up and disappeared they wouldn't give two bucks if your were ever found
(Verse 3)
I just ignore the voices when they yell now because fuck my happiness it's irrelevant...oh look at that another painful blow to the chest I need to just put myself into a permanent rest trust me it would be for the best I should be used to the hurt & pain by now especially if it comes from someone I that thought I really knew man my life's so fucking screwed but I'm so dam stupid what do I do I stick around and absorb all their abuse and get used still giving the love they don't deserve still showing up for everyone when the need me I don't know why I even care about these fake motherfuckers like they'll never treat me or love me like iveIl wanted to be loved & treat since I was young enough to remember
(Bridge)
Don't worry mommy Ill see u really soon trust that bclecause this shits wack Ill just keep smiling, helping, holding space & suffocating as long as everyone I love is okay who cares that I'm still completely abandoning the one person who needed me the most: myself.
(chorus)
This year I met the saddest version of myself… and it broke me in ways I never saw coming.I lost my spark. I lost the light in my eyes. I lost the version of me who used to smile without forcing it.

(Outro)
Since I was little Ive pretended I was okay. I put on the brave face because I didn’t want anyone to worry… or worse, judge me. But that silence, that constant performance, only made the weight heavier. It made the loneliness louder. It made the pain dig deeper NOONE WILL TAKE ME SERIOUS BUT ON MY MOMMAS GRAVE GIVE ME A FEW DAYS AND IMMA BE HEAVENS NEW GATE KEEPER