Steve Daddy

(Verse 1) There goes Steve in his Velcro shoes,
Walking down the sidewalk, nothing to lose.
He pulls up his knee-high socks real tight,
Adjusts his bifocals in the bright daylight.
He spots a lady walking down the street,
Thinks he’s the smoothest guy she’ll ever meet.
He winks one eye, tries to play it cool, PERVERT!
Flexing one bicep like a high school fool.
He says, "Hey there, beauty, check out my posture,
I’m the finest catch this side of the roster!"
(Chorus) Oh, Steve, oh Steve, put your cardigan away! PERVERT!
The ladies see you coming and they run the other way!
You’re talking 'bout their style, their hair, and their grace, PERVERT!
While flashing 'em a smile with spinach in your face!
You think you’re a heartthrob, a gift from above,
But your bad breath and combed-over hair ain't love!
Oh Steve, stop trying to flirt,
You're tucking your Hawaiian shirt into your gym shorts shirt! PERVERT!
(Verse 2) He strutted up to Sarah at the juice bar stand,
Tried to do a slick move, ended up on his hands.
He said, "You got nice legs, do they come with a warranty?
'Cause a vision like yours is a total priority!"
He offered her a mint from nineteen-ninety-two,
Tried to hit a pose like the young boys do.
He sneezed real loud, dropped his hearing aid,
And ruined every single pass he ever made.
(Chorus) Oh, Steve, oh Steve, put your cardigan away!
The ladies see you coming and they run the other way! PERVERT!
You’re talking 'bout their style, their hair, and their grace,
While flashing 'em a smile with spinach in your face!
You think you’re a heartthrob, a gift from above,
But your bad breath and combed-over hair ain't love!
Oh Steve, stop trying to flirt,
You're tucking your Hawaiian shirt into your gym shorts shirt!
(Outro) So if you see Steve coming down the block, YELL PERVERT!
With his walker in overdrive, running off the clock,
Just tip your hat and speed up your pace,
Before he starts winking with that funny-looking face!
Go home, Steve! Take a nap!